Sunday, January 18, 2009

Our First Real Post

repo genetic opera alexa vega anthony stewart head shilo musical gothicWell, we've been setting this bad boy up all night, it is now 6:30 in the morning, but we wanted to toss out one post with actual content tonight(day) to set up a habit of regular posting and manly hard work. Anyway, one advantage we have in this endeavor is that I do work in a movie store (which we will call the Flick Pit to avoid any possible legal issues. It's the chain that's not Blockbuster). A lot of blogs have regular weekly comic reviews, which we will not. With the nearest comic shop an hour away and money always tight, we mostly wait for the trade paperback collections these days...and not the hardback ones, either. So the comic reviews will be of whatever we happen to read that catches our interest, and you probably won't ever know what we thought of Final Crisis unless the mayans decide not to kill us all in 2012 or whatever. Anyway, the flip side of this is that not only are we up on the current DVD releases, we're usually getting them about a week early, so you'll go to the video store on Tuesday armed with the knowledge that Repo: The Genetic Opera is totally kickass. If you're going to the theater, of course, you're just gonna have to leap blind. Enjoy watching Dane Cook learn to love a dog or something.

But golly-gee sirree, Repo sure does kick that ass in good'n proper.
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Repo is a post-apocalyptic rock opera about a repoman who pulls the organs out of still squirming deadbeats who fail to pay for their transplants. Which is awesome. The focus isn't really on the slasher aspect of the story, though. The main character is Shilo, an overly sheltered teenage girl (Alexa Vega from Spy Kids, acquitting herself well) who just wants to leave her room and live her life. Her father, played by Giles himself, Anthony Stewart Head, genuinely wants to protect her from the dangers of the (admittedly twisted and dangerous) outside world, but he also wants to protect himself, and his deep, dark secret...that HE is the repoman.
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Or, y'know, A repoman. But it sounds more ominous the other way. Anywho, the story also concerns the owner and big cheese of Geneco, the Evil Corporation that's doing all the transplant surgeries (and the repossessing), who is dying, and his fucked up young'ns. The kids are mad scientist Luigi (an underused Bill Moseley), booty dancing leatherface Pavi (Ogre from Skinny Puppy) and uh, Paris Hilton. But it's ok because her face falls off. Spoiler alert! So, yeah, they're all huge disappointments and Paul 'Big Cheese' Sorvino doesn't want to leave the company in their hands, so he starts trying to shape Shilo into a worthy (read : eeevviiilllll) heir. It's all very Shakespearean and gothic, then Sarah Brightman's weird eyes start shooting holograms all over the place, and there's a really cool grave robber guy who sells corpse juice as drugs, and it's all awesome, and that's pretty much all you need to know to know you need to see it TODAY.
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Well, Tuesday.

Seriously, though, if you're a fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show or Tim Burton's musicals, you're in for a real treat. The creators apparently did this story as a stage show for a year or so before filming it, and writer/composer Terrance Zdunich plays the graverobber role like he was born to do so, and it's THE standout role in a film full of them. Alas, The Flick Pit got only ONE copy of the DVD, and none at all on Blu-ray, which is a damn shame. Hopefully Repo will find it's proper place as an instant cult classic, and a few years from now we can all get all defensive about it when we see middle-schoolers carrying 'Pavi' plushies around at the mall.

We also watched the actual slasher flick Cold Prey, which we'd heard good things about. Seemed pretty standard and by-the-numbers to us, but the killer was kind of clever and the victims weren't as gratingly annoying as they usually are in these affairs, so whatevs. If you absolutely MUST rent a slasher this week, take it over whatever roman numeral of Saw is coming out just on general principal. And yes, Repo director Darren Lynn Bousman also helmed some of the Saw movies, but we can forgive him, because as aspiring filmmakers, we'd jump all over ANY genuine hollywood movie waved in front of our faces if it meant getting the chance to do our real stuff afterward. Seriously, We'd remake Blade Runner with an all-wrestler cast right-fucking-now if they asked us. The Rock was pretty awesome in Southland Tales and we're fuckin' HUNGRY MAN.

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in rain. Time ... to die....BrrROTHER!"

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